Category: Current Events

Teen Depression and Glee

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Photo by: Glee on Fox

Yippee! Yahoo! Hooray! Glee is back for Season 3! And now that I have done my “research” for this post by watching the episode several times, I am ready to write something about the season premiere.

While I enjoyed the song selection, the number featuring Blaine, and the look of the purple pianos in last week’s episode, what really got me was the transformation of Quinn’s character.  It’s not just that I have a fondness for pink hair (I really do!), but I was both relieved and energized to see the writers doing something different with her character.  In case you don’t remember, Quinn has been through a lot in 2 years: she got pregnant, was kicked out of her house, gave her baby up for adoption, and had her heart broken by longtime boyfriend, Finn.  It was also revealed that she had a childhood history of weight problems and had plastic surgery as a youngster.  Finally, in this episode Quinn is appearing to deal with these events as many of us would: with psychological and emotional turmoil.

We have yet to learn if Quinn is actually depressed (dying one’s hair isn’t necessarily a sign of depression), but here are some things we can look out for as the season progresses to help us know for sure.  These are also good warning signs for the real teens in your life:

Change in interests.  Kids that used to love glee club, soccer, or chess may no longer be interested/find pleasure in these things.  It’s normal for kids’ interests to change over time, it’s concerning when the change is drastic and sudden.

Isolation.  Is your child spending more and more time alone in their room?  Is he turning down invitations from friends, or have the invitations stopped altogether? It’s time to step in.

Poor confidence.  Unfortunately, adolescence does a number on most kids’ confidence levels.  However, if your child seems to be suffering from particularly low self esteem, such that it makes it tough for them to do things (socialize, complete school work, try new things), it might be a warning sign.

Substance use. Many of us equate experimentation with alcohol and tobacco with the teen years.  However, if your child is using substances regularly (like once a week), it could be a sign that they are struggling with their mood and looking for ways to cope.

Changes in eating or sleeping.  Eating and sleeping too much or too little can be a warning sign that something has changed in your child’s psychological health.  Sleeping late one morning isn’t a big deal, not being able to get out of bed for 2 or 3 days is.

Irritability.  None of us are pleasant all the time, and it is a teen’s job to question adults’ decisions and figure out boundaries.  However, if your teen has recently become unusually irritable or angry, lashes out verbally or physically, or is unable to enjoy people and activities she used to because of the irritability, this could be a warning sign of depression.

Thoughts of harm.  If your teen even hints at a thought of wanting to harm themselves, or if you find any blogs/posts/tweets/updates suggesting a desire to die, stop living, or “end things” it is time to take action immediately.  It is better to be safe in these situations, so if you suspect your child is having suicidal thoughts of any kind, take them to the emergency room right away.

 

Traveling for Gratitude

Traveling is good for our mental health.  It gives us a break from our day to day routines, it exposes us to different ideas and cultures, and it allows us to build memories with our family and friends.  Last week I traveled from my home in suburban Colorado to rural Kentucky for a wedding.  In the midst of my trip it occurred to me that travel is good for something else, too: gratitude.  Gratitude for home, gratitude for other people and places; traveling can an opportunity to open our eyes to the things that are good about the world.

There’s no doubt about it, rural Kentucky culture couldn’t be more different than suburban Colorado culture.   The sharp contrast made it easy for me to find some things about both places to be grateful for.

A few things that made me grateful for home:

Photo by Jesse Varner

Resources.  As I made an unexpected visit to the hospital on my trip, I realized how lucky I am to have new, clean, and efficient medical care so close to my home.  I am also fortunate to live in a community that believes is supporting schools, public libraries, and recreation so that I am never at a loss for things to do and never have to worry that my children are getting the best opportunities.  I am grateful because this is not the case everywhere.

“Home cooking.”  I like to think of myself as easy-to-please when it comes to food.  The truth is, I am a bit (sigh) high maintenance.  As I spent time in the land of fried green tomatoes, biscuits and gravy, and hot browns, I became grateful for the abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables near my home that better suit my palate.

Wide open spaces.  Kentucky is a seriously beautiful place.  But it can’t compare to Colorado; sorry to those who disagree.  It is rare that I visit a place that I think is prettier than my home state.  Perhaps that’s the thing about being grateful for home though, it makes it seem like the most gorgeous place in the world.

A few things that made me grateful for Kentucky:

Photo by Kentucky APWA

Attitude.  I find Coloradans to be pretentious and snobby at times.  I didn’t see that at all in rural Kentucky.  The folks seemed to be more interested in living their lives, taking care of themselves and their families, and having fun than to bother with the high-brow attitude I sometimes encounter in Colorado.  What a breath of fresh air.  I hope I can remember their easy going attitude the next time I take myself too seriously.

Family.  Many of the folks I know in Colorado have moved here to escape overbearing mothers, annoying fathers, and other less-than-desirable family situations.  I didn’t see that so much in Kentucky.  Rather, families stayed living within driving distance of one another, no matter how irritating.  It’s easy to take our families for granted, but most of us would agree that having a sense of gratitude for the positives they bring to our lives is a better stance.

Manners.  “Would you like another glass of sweet tea, ma’am?”  I never get sick of the good manners in the south.  I wish they would catch on all over the country.  There’s just something about showing respect for each other in our speech patterns and behavior that seems like a more civilized – and healthy – way to live.

A few things that made me grateful to be an American:

Photo by jcolman

Traveling home on September 11, 2011 was a little anxiety-provoking.  Seeing video footage of the planes flying into the World Trade Center while sitting in the airport didn’t make it easier.  But in the end, I was left with a profound sense of gratitude that as an American I have a government that really cares about my safety even though I haven’t really done anything to deserve that concern.  I’m grateful that there are competent TSA agents who check our bags before we board planes, and highly trained pilots flying up-to-date aircraft so that I can zip around the country on a whim.  And I’m grateful to know that – as we learned on September 11, 2001 – the vast majority of Americans care about each other and will do what needs to be done in moments of crisis.  Whether it be attacking a terrorist, clearing debris from a disaster site, giving blood, donating money, or praying for each other – Americans care for each other when care is needed.  I’m so grateful for that.

 

 

Glee Wins at The Voice Awards

Peter Krause was the host of the 2011 Voice Awards Photo by: SAMHSA

Have you heard of the Voice Awards?  Here’s a description:

Sponsored by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), and Center for Mental Health Services, the Voice Awards honor consumer/peer leaders who have played a vital role in raising both awareness and understanding of behavioral health (mental health and/or addiction issues) and promoted the social inclusion of individuals with behavioral health problems. Through their exemplary leadership and advocacy, they demonstrate that recovery is real and that individuals with behavioral health problems are valuable, contributing members of their schools, workplaces, and communities.

This year the focus of the awards program was recovery from trauma, and the ceremony was held last night.  While just a teeny bit disappointed that I didn’t get to go and cover the red carpet (dang it!), I am thrilled that Glee won an award for its portrayal of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  As a gleek, I couldn’t be happier for the show.  Check out my post on Glee’s portrayal of Ms. Pillsbury’s OCD.

Check out more of the winners at last night’s Voice Awards.  Mad Men, another favorite of mine, is among the honored.  Sally’s treatment with a psychologist may just be in my blogging future.

In honor of Glee’s award, here’s the trailer from their new season starting next month:

Sympathy for the Hot Sauce Mom?

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Have you heard the story about the mom who poured hot sauce into the mouth of her 7 year old adopted son?  I first read about it a few months ago, and the story is resurfacing again as the legal battle heats up.  If you aren’t familiar with the story of the mom, her family, and The Dr. Phil Show, check it out here.   And if you want to watch the video of the mom (Jessica Beagley) actually inflicting the punishment, here it is:

So, what do I have to say about this incident?  To be honest, I’m not sure.  The prosecutors sure paint an ugly picture of Ms. Beagley as a mom hungry for notoriety on a reality show, and willing to do anything to get it.    The defense wants the jury to see her as a stressed out, desperate mother of 6, doing what she could to get help from the country’s most infamous psychologist.  I don’t know who to believe, but a couple things seem certain:

1.  There are lots of folks who are willing to do lots of crazy things to get on TV.  Whether the intentions are good (win a million dollars, find true love, get free parenting advice), or not so good (destroy the reputation of a colleague) this sets up a slippery slope of stupid, and sometimes even dangerous behavior.  Perhaps we all need to re-think our obsession with reality TV and the drama it invites.

2.  Parenting is super hard.  Parenting children with special needs is even harder.  While it is never OK to abuse or torture children, we must have sympathy and understanding for parents who are pushed to their limits.  Furthermore, affordable, user-friendly parenting resources need to be closer to home than in the LA studios of The Dr. Phil Show.

What are your thoughts about this disturbing story?

Save the Strong, Smart Man!

Photo by: Jason Edward Scott Bain

When reading this recent post on CNN’s The Chart I started thinking about men and boys in a new light.  CNN’s article was about some new research suggesting that testosterone levels in men has decreased in recent decades.  They also mentioned that male birth rates have been declining in some populations.  The authors speculated that environmental exposures might be the reason.  What I started thinking was: how is American culture and media affecting men and boys?

I am a woman and I have daughters, so I typically think and write about how the world is affecting females.  But that is pretty one-sided of me.  Just as important to societal health is how men and boys are being portrayed in the media and treated in real life.  We’ve all heard about ADHD and autism being more prevalent in boys, and the current educational system being more conducive to female rather than male minds.  But what I am focused on is how pop culture is portraying the roles of men.  And it isn’t pretty.

I’m thinking of the lunchmeat (or was it cellphone?) commercial where the woman is making lunch.  She yells for her male mate to come to the table.  She calls him multiple times to come to kitchen with no luck.  Finally she resorts to texting him a picture of his waiting sandwich.  Seeing it, he quickly comes to the table to eat.  Just like a hungry dog.  Is this really the type of male partner we want our boys (and girls) to see?  One that responds only when his most basic needs are being met?  Why not show the couple working together as a team to make lunch while having a smart discussion?  For a list of more male-bashing commercials check out AskMen.com’s Top Ten List.

When I’ve talked to other folks about this phenomena, I’ve been reminded of the many TV programs that portray men as bumbling, selfish, and irritable people.   The Simpsons, Family Guy, and even Friends have done the men and boys in our lives a disservice.  What role models are we giving our boys to look up to?  Where are the strong, smart, capable, and responsible males being highlighted and celebrated?

I am on the lookout for strong male figures in our culture.  Ideas?

Tears and Cheers: Back to School Emotions

Photo by: Dawn Ashley

Today is back to school day in my neck of the woods.  The backpacks are packed, the outfits picked out, the teachers assigned.  The only thing left for us parents to do is experience the flood of emotions that come with waving goodbye.  Whether our kids are heading off to class for the first time or are seasoned pros, this is an emotional time of year for many families.

I have talked to lots of moms who are relieved that the long, unstructured days of summer are over.  And I’ve talked to many who dread the early wake up times and homework assignments of the school year.  I think most of us feel both the dread and excitement simultaneously.  Emotions can be especially strong for parents of preschoolers and kindergartners, families who have moved to a new town, or parents who have children who struggle socially or academically.

If you find yourself alternating between crying and shouting “Yahoo!” know that the fluctuation is totally normal!  After a few weeks in school we will all be back into a routine, and our emotions will likely return to normal, too.  In the meantime, find support from other parents in your neighborhood or school.  Chances are they are feeling the exact same thing.

Does your child have worries about going back to school?  Read some tips here.

APA offers tips for coping with Back to School Blues here.

Back to School Worries

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Photo by: MerelyMel13

It’s not unusual for even the most confident kids to have worries associated with heading back to school.  New teachers, new expectations, new classroom – there are a lot of unknowns when entering a new school year.  Anxieties can grow even more intense when a child is starting a new school.  How can parents help?

Be Prepared.  Worries breed when we are unprepared.  Do you have a list of school supplies, clothing, and other materials that need to be purchased?  Try shopping well ahead of time so that you aren’t scrambling at the last second.  When you are prepared and relaxed – your kids will follow.

Dress Rehearsals are Good.  I’m a big fan of practicing events about which we are worried.  A few days or a couple weeks before the big day, try a dress rehearsal.  Have your child dress in their back to school outfit, eat a typical school day breakfast, pack their lunch, grab their backpack, and head off to school.  Make a fun event out of it.  If your school allows for a visit before classes start – do it!  It can help ease worried minds to be able to visualize the hallways and classrooms in which they will learning.

Don’t Say “Don’t Worry.”  None of us wants our kids to worry or be stressed.  So when your son says, “Mom, I’m nervous about the first day of school” most of us answer by saying, “It’ll be fine!  Don’t be worried!”  But in the interest of encouraging our kids to talk to us, a better response might be: “What are you worried about?”  This will give your child the opportunity to explain their worries, so that you can respond appropriately.  A conversation might go like this:

Child: “Mom, I’m nervous about the first day of school.”

Parent: “What are you feeling nervous about?”

Child: “I’m afraid I won’t know anyone with my lunch period and I will have to sit alone.”

Parent: “I can see why you’d be worried about that.  Let’s come up with some ideas about what to do if that happens.”

Child: “I don’t know what to do!”

Parent: “Could you sit with a teacher?  Sit next to someone else sitting alone?”

Child: “Yea, maybe I could sit next to someone else who’s alone.”

Parent: “Great!  Sounds like a good plan.”

Perhaps the most important thing about helping your child learn to manage worries is to check in after the first day is over.  See how it went.  Was there a reason to worry, or not?  How did they cope with the lunch room situation?  If the day was a success, use it to build confidence for the next worrisome situation.  If it wasn’t, try brainstorming more solutions for a better outcome.

 

 

 

Thank you, USA Women’s Soccer!

Photo via: Top U.S. Post.com

What a fun ride it has been watching the USA Women’s Soccer Team play in the World Cup the last couple of weeks.  I was so moved by the experience of watching these exceptional women, that I wanted to say a public “thank you” to the team.

Thank you, Team USA for giving us something positive to focus on in the midst of the bad news that surrounds us everyday.  Floods, droughts, murders – sometimes the news around us causes me to question the state of our country and world.  You gave us a reprieve from all that negativity and in return, something to smile about.

Thank you, Team USA for working together, as a team.  As we watch with frustration (and sometimes anger) at our representatives in Washington, D.C. and their inability to compromise, use teamwork, and just plain get along – it is refreshing to see a group of professionals do it with apparent ease.  And without complaint.

Thank you, Team USA for showing our sons and our daughters what it means to be strong, smart women with purpose.  In a time when our young girls feel pressure to be sexy, and believe that true happiness comes only after Prince Charming arrives – you are just the role models we need to show us a healthier way.

Thank you, Team USA for losing to Japan yesterday.  Sure it was disappointing, but in that loss you reminded all of us that things don’t have to turn out “perfectly” to be fun and worthwhile.  You also showed us how to lose gracefully and with class – a lesson many of us can stand to learn over and over again.

How Daycare Can Help Children with Depressed Moms

In my recent post about moms criticizing other moms, I wrote briefly about the new study finding that daycare helps kids with depressed moms.  To read more about my thoughts on why this might be the case and how else we can support moms (and all caregivers) with depression please click over to Your Mind. Your Body. This is the blog of the American Psychological Association for which I also write (though not as regularly as I write here).  Let me know your thoughts!

The Glee Project

Have you been watching The Glee Project this summer on Oxygen?  If not, you are missing out!  The premise of the show is that they are looking for a new character for the real Glee.  The format is sort of like American Idol, except the contestants have to sing, dance, and act.  It’s a great fill-in for those of us who are missing new Glee episodes over the summer, and it is also fun to get a peek behind the scenes of how Glee works.

Photo by: The Glee Project on Oxygen

Photo by: The Glee Project on Oxygen

I was particularly impressed with last week’s episode of The Glee Project.  The contestants were challenged to show their vulnerable side.  The directors didn’t just settle for the kids making sad faces, either.  They had the contestants name, then wear in public (in the form of a painted sign on their chest), their biggest vulnerability.  What could have been hokey was actually pretty moving.  But the thing I liked most was painted on the back of their signs: “U R Not Alone.”

Photo by: The Glee Project on Oxygen

Glee is a pretty darn entertaining show, but the good they have done in helping kids and young adults understand that they are not alone in their struggles is inspiring.  I’m so glad that the show is continuing its good work over the summer.  Goodness knows there are kids who need it.

Know someone who needs help now? Check out the Boys Town National Hotline.  Parents and teens (both boys and girls!) can call 1-800-448-3000 to be connected with counselors and other resources.