Category: family life

Depression, Pregnancy, and Psychotherapy

A  study in the journal Human Reproduction recently concluded the following:

Antidepressant use during pregnancy is associated with increased risks of miscarriage, birth defects, preterm birth, newborn behavioral syndrome, persistent pulmonary hypertension of the newborn and possible longer term neurobehavioral effects. There is no evidence of improved pregnancy outcomes with antidepressant use.

This is an important study for several reasons:

  • Pregnant moms who are depressed can be at risk for not taking care of themselves or their unborn baby (not eating well, not taking prenatal vitamins, not going to OB visits).
  • Moms whose depression is not well managed during pregnancy are at a greater risk of developing postpartum depression
  • Moms who are depressed risk other physical and mental health problems
  • As most families know, mom’s mental health and mood has an impact on everyone else in the family

So what do the results of this study really tell us?  Antidepressant use during pregnancy needs to be evaluated carefully.  But to me (as a psychologist, of course) the more important conclusion of this study is this statement right here:

There is some evidence that psychotherapy, including cognitive-behavioral therapy as well as physical exercise, is associated with significant decreases in depressive symptoms in the general population; research indicates that some forms of counseling are effective in treating depressive symptoms in infertile women.

In fact, psychotherapy can be highly effective for many mood disorders, including for depression before, during, after pregnancy.  This is great news because, unlike medication, psychotherapy has few (some would say zero) side effects.  An effective and safe treatment option for moms and their families – now that is an important conclusion.

Fore more information about finding and visiting a psychologist, go here.

 

 

Maintaining Mental Health in a Natural Disaster

Photo: Getty Images

By now we’ve all seen the amazing, horrifying images of the damage Hurricane Sandy inflicted on the East Coast.  And I would imagine the suffering, struggle, and emotional fallout will continue long after the media moves on to more “interesting” things in the days and weeks ahead.  My colleague, Dr. Elaine Ducharme wrote a great article about how to cope with the hurricane on the American Psychological Association’s blog, Your Mind. Your Body.  Her tips – especially the ones about getting the facts and talking to your kids – are especially helpful. Check it out here.

I also really liked the post by CNN’s The Chart about some of the nuts and bolts about living through a storm and subsequent flooding.  I didn’t realize how dangerous floods can be after the water recedes.  Check it out here.

This article on ABC about how to help hurricane victims was excellent.  I love how they reviewed several organizations, how to contact them, and how the money donated actually helps people.  Did you know over one hundred blood drives were cancelled because of the storm? Wow.  Check it out here.

For more information about managing stress and trauma after this hurricane or other natural disasters, check out the resources over at the American Psychological Association.

Can Casseroles = Happiness?

I attended a potluck dinner a few weeks ago.  After looking around at the many and varied casseroles in attendance, a friend of mine said: “I don’t eat them very much, but it’s true: Casseroles = Happiness.”

I laughed and thought this was cute.  Then I thought about it more, and decided that perhaps a good casserole CAN really contribute to mental health.  How, you ask?

  • While not good for the waistline, the cheesy, goopy goodness just feels good in the mouth and the belly. Yum.
  • They can provide a complete, easy meal for a family or group with minimal muss or fuss.  They are the perfect food for a busy family, couple, or single person. Ease, organization, and tastiness surely contribute to mental health in a positive way.

 

  • Kids like cream of mushroom soup.  While a little strange and unhealthy, this popular casserole ingredient insures that even the pickiest of picky eaters enjoy the meal.
  •  Perhaps the way casseroles can make the most impact is when they are shared.  A new baby, an illness, a move, a job loss – all are occasions for casserole-giving.  Who knew such a small gesture could create such comfort and joy?

Looking for some good casserole recipes?  Check out some of my favorite food sites:

Produce for Kids

Six Sisters’ Stuff

Weekly Bite

 

Book Review: Slouching Toward Adulthood

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I recently read Slouching Toward Adulthood, by Sally Koslow after hearing an interview with the author on the radio.  It seemed like an interesting topic – Generation Y’s reluctance to embrace adulthood and their effect on the culture, job market, and their Baby Boomer parents.  While I am neither a Boomer nor a Gen Y’er, I certainly know lots of people in those demographics, and am aware of the massive influence these groups have on our society at large.

Here’s the thing: I couldn’t make it though the book because it was so darn depressing! Maybe not everyone would find it so, but I sure did.  The mentality of entitlement in Gen Y of which the author writes is tough to take, and the self-important attitude she describes in Boomers became nauseating.  Obviously not every person in these generations falls within these stereotypes, but the thought that even a few might was too much for me to read about after a while.

We all know that the Baby Boomers have changed the world with every step in their development (hippies to yuppies to active retirees).  So it makes sense that their kids would follow a novel path, too.  Besides, what adultescent (as Koslow calls them) would want to leave parents who have supported them emotionally, financially, and otherwise everyday of their lives?  Not only that, but these Boomer parents laid out a life path so smooth for their children that it was devoid of any real challenge, heartbreak, or disappointment.  And through it all truly believed that their children hung the moon?  With a childhood like that, I wouldn’t want to leave the nest either.  Who would?

The dynamics between Gen Y and Baby Boomers are probably important for us to be aware of, as we all have to live in the world they have (or will) create.  But for me, a stereotypically independent and skeptical Gen X’er, this book was just too much.

Consequently, in researching this post, I did come across this article on alternet.org: How Generation X Got the Shaft But Can Still Keep Everything From Sucking.  Now that sounds like my cup of tea.

 

 

Stressed? Take a Hike!

Last spring I was interviewed for this article in the Yuma Sun. I have to be honest, I never would have thought of starting a nature club with my family had the reporter, Chris McDaniel, given me the idea.  After reading the article and the ideas provided, I think it sounds like a lot of fun!  Here’s a quote:

“Sometimes we as parents think that we need to spend lots of money or drive long distances to find things our kids will think are fun. This is rarely the case. Most kids just like to spend time with their parents doing something together. This can be a simple walk around the block, or an exploration trip at the nearest park.”

I gave this quote in the spring, but it seems particularly pertinent this time of year with the holidays – and all the craziness that accompanies them – right around the corner.  Just last night I started to feel a little hint of holiday stress when I caught a glimpse of a kids clothing catalog and started summing up the cash for three coordinating outfits for my kids.  I think I might be taking my own advice today and ditch the expensive things we don’t really need, and head out for a walk in the fall leaves instead.

Yuma Sun April 2012

Homework: A Psychologist’s Perspective, Revisited

I am re-posting this article because we are back into the swing of the new school year.  I make no apologies, I am pretty much against homework for young children.  If I ruled the world (and believe me, I sometimes try) there would be no homework for elementary kids, very little for middle schoolers, and reasonable quantities for high school students.  I was extra-pleased to receive this comment from Erika recently:

  I have been an elementary school teacher for 12 years now, and I have taught grades 1 through 6. I haven’t given homework for years. My students are expected to read to or with a family member (depending on reading level), and that’s it. The only exception is unfinished class work due to lack of effort on their part. My collegues all disagree with me, saying that it is crucial for learning time management skills and for getting through the extensive curriculum, but I say that if they give %100 for the school day, they get the rest of the time off. How are they supposed to get the recommended 1 hour of physical activity a day, and fit in family time, imaginative play, lessons/clubs, and downtime? As for time management, they are occasionally assigned projects, which help develop those skills. And believe me, they manage their time quite well when they know they’ll have homework if they don’t complete their class assignments!
I know that my parents love it… I get an incredible reaction at curriculum night. This year, I think a few of them almost clapped.

Glad to see I am not alone!

Here’s the original post:

I have written before about my thoughts on homework.  Mainly, I’m against it.  At least for elementary schoolers, and possibly even for middle schoolers.  I can see the benefits of homework for high schoolers.  Reading literature, working on calculus problems, and writing up science experiments seem like worthy ways to spend time for the high school set.  But “work sheets” for young kids and tweens mostly seem like a waste of time.

In talking to a colleague the other day (who shared my opinion), I tried to come up with a few guidelines for when I think homework might be appropriate for kids.  Admittedly, I am not an educator and don’t share their expertise and perspective on homework (I am open to comments!).  This is what I think from the perspective of a psychologist:

Goals.  There should be a clear goal when homework is given.  Homework for homework’s sake is not a good enough reason for me.  There should be a compelling reason that children need to crack open the books at home.

Priorities.  I am always hopeful that teachers and administrators keep in mind that each minute a child spends doing homework is one less minute they can spend: exercising, spending quality time with family, engaging in music lessons, volunteering in the community, preparing healthy meals, relaxing, engaging in imaginative play, and/or getting the sleep they need to grow and thrive.  Is the homework assigned more important than those things?  If not, then it can probably be skipped.

Development.  In order for homework to be an effective teaching tool, children should be able to remember they have homework, be able to read the assignment and understand the task, complete the assignment with minimal (if any) parental help, put the work in their bag, and return it to their teacher – all without assistance.  If they require more than minimal parental assistance on any of these steps – they are just too young!  Homework should not be an added burden for the parents and/or a daily potential fight between family members – but an adjunct to the hours spent in school.

Teachers, parents, educators – what am I missing?  Are there reasons for assigning homework that I am missing?  Other guidelines you employ when deciding whether or not to assign homework?

A Romantic Lunch Date

Most folks who have been in a romantic relationship lasting more than a year or two are looking for ways to keep things exciting, fresh, and romantic.  I had forgotten about this old post of mine until I saw some excerpts pop up on rockinmarriage.com.  I think I had some good ideas for squeezing in a quick romantic lunch with your sweetie.  Thanks for sharing my post, rockinmarriage!  And thanks for reminding us that “Having a romantic lunch date can feel much more illicit and adventurous and it also reduces some of the stress of trying to find time and make arrangements for a date night.”

rockinmarriage.com on 9/14/12

Summer’s Over – Emotions are Mixed

I guess it depends where you live, but in this neck of the woods summer is over! Kids headed back to school this week and I am seeing (and feeling!) mixed emotions all around me.

Kids are excited to see friends, nervous for new teachers and classes, and dreading homework and morning routines. Parents are filled with similar emotions – dread, relief, and happiness. These feelings (and lots of others) are normal and to be expected.  They may also change rapidly over the next few weeks as we get settled into new routines and say goodbye to summer for good.  Plenty of sleep, healthy foods, and physical activity can ease the transition, as can sharing your feelings.

For more information on dealing with the back to school blues, check out the American Psychological Association’s article here.

 

A Picture Perfect Marriage

We can’t all have a wedding like this, but luckily it’s not the flowers or custom made dress that makes a happy marriage
Photo: Summit

Ahhh…wedding season.  It is upon us – and I love it.  I love the flowers, the white dress, the dancing, the cake, the cake, the cake.  But as my colleague Dr. Angela Lodono-McConnell over at Your Mind. Your Body. writes, there is more to a happy marriage than a clever proposal and Pinterest-worthy reception.

After attending many weddings as a guest and a worker (I used to be a waitress at a wedding venue) I can tell you the one ingredient that makes the most picture perfect wedding: a loving, happy couple.  It’s not the food, the open bar, the flowers, or the handmade place cards that ensure your guests have a super time.  It’s the amount of love and fun coming from the couple.

The cool news is, these are also important ingredients in a successful marriage.  A sense of fun, optimistic happiness, and an outpouring of affection (physical, verbal, etc) are key elements to staying married, not just an evening of fun with family and friends.