Tag: dr stephanie smith

Hold the Judgment: An Easy Way To Improve Mental Health

Judging others: So easy, so entertaining, so widespread.  But sadly, also completely contradictory to good mental health.

The other day I did my own little experiment and noticed how many times in an hour I made a judgmental comment (in my head – I was on the treadmill) about either myself or others.  I lost count at 25. Yikes.  Now, I didn’t speak these judgments out loud, but they were there just the same.  Things like:

“Why did she choose that shirt, ick”

and

“She totally looks better than me!”

and

“Who chose this awful music on the loud speaker?”

Oh boy.

All those judgments flying every which way got me thinking: How does a judgmental attitude affect mental health?  Here are some thoughts:

Passing judgment (on ourselves and others) keeps us from being fully present in our lives.  Life is full of things to notice and be a part of.  If we spend the bulk of our time formulating judgments, what might we be missing? A quiet, peaceful hour on the treadmill? The joy of watching our kids play sports or act on stage? A entertaining conversation with a friend?

No one ever wins. Judging ourselves, judging others; comparing ourselves to others. All these things lead to the same end: a downward spiral to misery and disappointment.  When it comes to judgment – no one ever ends up feeling good.

Judging others can make us paranoid that others are judging us, too.  Judging others has the nasty side effect of making us feel that we, ourselves are being judged – even when we’re not.  As in: “What are the neighbors going to think when they see me driving this old, dented car?”  See? Not so good.

We all want to spend time with non-judgmental people.  Think about some of your favorite people to spend time with.  I’d be willing to bet that most of them steer clear of judging, or gossiping about others.  Sure, it’s fun for a minute, but this behind-the-back judgmental attitude has a pretty nasty aftertaste.  Supportive, interesting (and interested), funny friends are the ones that give us longer-lasting feelings of warmth and closeness.

 

Is Porn a Public Health Issue?

Pornography is a hot topic these days.

The Governor of Utah recently signed a resolution describing pornography as “a public health hazard leading to a broad spectrum of individual and public health impacts and societal harms.”  The resolution also reads that porn “equates violence toward women and children with sex and pain with pleasure, which increases the demand for sex trafficking, prostitution, child sexual abuse images, and child pornography.”  Finally, the resolutions states that there is a need for “education, prevention, research and policy change…in order to address the pornography epidemic…”

Read the resolution in its entirety here.

Time Magazine is also talking about pornography, with a recent issue dedicated to covering the topic:

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According to Wikipedia, a public health crisis is defined as follows:

A health crisis or public health crisis is a difficult situation or complex health system that affects humans in one or more geographic areas (mainly occurred in natural hazards), from a particular locality to encompass the entire planet. Health crises generally have significant impacts on community health, loss of life, and on the economy. They may result from disease, industrial processes or poor policy.

So, does porn qualify?

I’m not sure, but I think it is becoming more and more clear that the easy, free access to pornography on portable electronic devices is having a pretty big impact on kids and adults.  The fact that these titillating images (and movies) are just one click away at all times is just such a big change from the past when porn could only be viewed if you:

  • Made a trip to the gas station and asked for the magazine behind the counter
  • Went to a strip club in person
  • Found an adult store/movie theater and had the guts to go inside

In short, it was much harder to access – and took a lot more planning and nerve.  Nowadays, it’s almost hard NOT to stumble into porn at some point while browsing the web.  And that’s one thing for adults, but quite another for kids who often don’t have the resources to:

  • Make sense of what they’re viewing
  • Understand the difference between reality and fiction when it comes to sexual acts
  • Stay away from sexualized content (it’s pretty exciting, after all)

So, the question remains…is pornography is a public health crisis? Perhaps Utah is on the cutting edge of dealing with this issue – maybe they’re over-reacting.  Either way, it’s an important conversation to be having with ourselves, our kids, our partners and our communities.

 

 

 

What To Know Before Your First Appointment

I recently had a chance to talk to the folks over at BuzzFeed about what to expect during your first therapy session. I love the way they presented the info – so fun, accessible and entertaining.  Adjectives not typically associated with therapy – but they should be!

Check it out:

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One of my favorites quotes:

“Some people are just ready to spill everything and talk about the big stuff, and some people it takes much longer for them to feel comfortable sharing,” says Smith. “What’s important to me as a psychologist is to meet people where they are.”

Thanks, BuzzFeed!

Some Thoughts About Sex and Mental Health

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I recently participated in an event that included a talk about sex.  The speaker was a physician whose office is around the corner from mine, Dr. Gloria Oberbeck.  The audience was a group of women ranging in age from about 30 to about 75.  And boy did we have a lot of questions for the good doctor!

Sex is something that is all around us almost all the time, but paradoxically is something we almost never talk about in any kind of meaningful way.  Where are we to turn when we have questions like:

Why does sex hurt?

What can I do if I don’t have a partner, but still want to be a sexual person?

Why does my interest in sex wax and wane?

All are orgasms created equal?

These questions (and many more!) were asked during the talk and I took some notes.  Here are a few things I learned:

  • The vast majority of us like sex and chocolate.  The way they work on our brains is pretty similar.  And most of us don’t get enough of either one.
  • It’s a myth that men want sex more than women.
  • Regular sex helps us be more resilient to the stressors in our lives. As in: more sex = better able to cope with our annoying boss
  • Orgasms achieved by…um…machines might be fun, but they don’t result in the same overall health benefits as orgasms achieved through skin to skin contact.
  • Studies have shown us that most people want more sex than they are having
  • When sex isn’t possible (because of lack of partner, physical limitations, etc), skin to skin contact with another person can be the next best thing.  Holding hands, hugging, etc all have powerful effects on our bodies.

It was a fun, and very informative talk.  I’m already looking forward to Part 2!

Food and Mood: Pasta Is Love in a Bowl

This post is part of the Food and Mood series. Today’s author is Megan Alpert, welcome Megan!

 

Denver has so many amazing restaurants and one of my favorite local

spots is The Cherry Tomato in Park Hill. Delicious food and a cozy

ambiance make for a romantic date night or even a fun night out with the

family. The restaurant also holds a special place in my heart, as it was

where I navigated my first hostess job and delighted in the warm, savory

minestrone soup and scrumptious fettuccine Alfredo.

For almost twenty years, owner and chef, Tom Felise, has featured his

signature creation, Pasta Felise, which is a dreamy dish of bowtie pasta

with chicken, sundried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and sweet green peas

dancing in a creamy white wine basil pesto sauce – how about that for

making your heart jump!

A few months ago, I attempted to recreate this masterpiece and am happy

to share my version of “Pasta Felise.” When I want to make my sweeties

feel special or when I get nostalgic for the taste of my twenties, I turn to

this dish. Enjoy!

Here is what you need. Wow, I feel fancy setting up this display like I am

the Pioneer Woman – love her recipes!

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Ingredients

3 Tablespoons olive oil separated

1 Tablespoon butter

1 package of boneless, skinless chicken breast (3-4 in a pack)

1 lb bowtie noodles (cook according to pasta instructions)

Basil Pesto (recipe below)

1 1/2 cup white wine – I like Sauvignon Blanc

1 package ready to eat julienne cut sun dried tomatoes

1 can of artichoke hearts (more if you want!)

1 cup of frozen green peas

3/4 cup of heavy cream

Salt and Pepper

Basil Pesto:

3 – 4 large bunch of fresh basil (about 3 cups basil leaves with stems)

4 cloves of garlic

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese

1 cup olive oil

Serves 4-6

First, let’s prep the chicken. I cut the breasts into two inch pieces and salt

and pepper both sides.

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Next, cook the pasta according to the package and you can set it aside for

later.

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Then, heat about 2 Tbsp of oil with 1 Tbsp of butter in a large skillet on

medium-high heat. Cook the chicken until brown and just done (about 8

minutes). The mixture of olive oil and butter gives the chicken a nice brown

finish.

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While the chicken cooks, you can make the Pesto.

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I cut the very end of the stems off but use the rest of the basil – stem and

all – as it provides great flavor.

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Add the basil, garlic, lemon juice, and Parmesan cheese to a food processor and pulse until

coarse. Then add the olive oil and pulse until smooth. So fresh and so easy!

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By now, the chicken should be nice and brown and you will want to set it aside

and lightly tent with foil for later.

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Heat one tablespoon of olive oil over medium heat.

Next, add the beautiful pesto that you made and heat until fragrant (about 2

minutes).

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Then add the white wine and simmer for 5 minutes.

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Now, add the sun-dried tomatoes – lovely color!

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Then, the artichokes…

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Finally, add the peas. If using frozen, I sometime just add them in straight from

the freezer. I can only imagine how good this would taste in the summer with

peas from the farmers market!

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Stir and simmer for 5 – 7 minutes until bubbly.

As a last touch, lower the heat and add the heavy cream.

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Stir and cook for just a few minutes longer.

Your last step is to mix the beautiful sauce with the cooked noodles and serve

with shredded Parmesan. Love in a bowl!!

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Megan Alpert is a recruiter at Accenture focused on finding top talent for the Marketing & Communications team. Megan lives in Denver with her husband and two sons and her passions include sports, yoga, music, travel and cooking.  One of her priorities and great joys in life is to cook and enjoy dinners with family and friends.

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Election Stress: When Politics Make You Want to Scream

I don’t care who you are or where you live: no American is immune to election stress.  Even when we want to escape the coverage of the candidates, the caucuses, the primaries – it’s next to impossible to do so! And the really frustrating thing? It’s not even close to being over (or reaching its peak, for that matter).

Way back in 2012 I wrote a post about Pre-Election Stress Disorder.*  Remember 2012? We thought we had it rough then! Fast forward 4 years and here we are in the midst of the nastiest presidential race in my memory (and I’m not that young).

I was recently interviewed by the Huffington Post about how to cope with election stress this time around.  The tone is a little silly and tongue-in-cheek, but I think the issue is real.  Constant election coverage, and the often negative banter of folks on ALL sides can have an impact of mental health.  In the article, I offer a bunch of ideas about how to cope when you notice your stress level rising.  My favorite? Check it out:

Remind yourself of the good.

A little compassion goes a long way. Research shows that generosity is cyclical: Kindness makes you happier, and happiness makes you kind. Try to engage in that behavior when you’re stressed about the negativity of the news. Volunteer at a local charity, like an animal shelter or a food bank.

“There are still a lot of wonderful things happening in the world and people making positive change,” Smith said. “That’s hard to remember when candidates rip each other apart, so actively remind yourself of that.”

Read the entire article over at Huffington Post Lifestyle.

 

 

 

Making Changes During Lent

Ready to make some behavioral changes in your life? Lent might be a good time to give it a try!

Ready to make some behavioral changes in your life? Lent might be a good time to give it a try!

Lent started last week, so I’m a little behind the ball, but I wanted to write a quick post about it anyway.  For those who don’t know, Lent is a period in the Christian calendar between Ash Wednesday and Easter (40 days excluding Sundays, to be exact).   I’m not an expert in theology or religion, so I’m not going to talk about the religious significance of Lent.  But as a mental health expert, I am going to focus on the practice of “giving something up” for Lent.

Whether you are religious or not, Lent is the perfect time to take a look at our lives and make some adjustments.

Here’s the deal: Most of us think about how we want to live healthier, more frugally, more whatever around the 1st of the year.  We turn these vague notions about healthier living into New Year’s resolutions – even though we know they probably won’t stick.  Do you even remember yours?  New Year’s resolutions don’t typically work because:

  • They are often too vague and general – i.e., “eat healthier” or “save more”
  • There is no specific time frame – the entirety of 2016 is just too broad
  • They are made on the heels of what is often the most indulgent time of the year – “You mean I can’t eat dessert after breakfast, lunch and dinner?” or “I really have to go back to work?” – The drastic change is just too much

But Lent gives us the perfect situation in which to make changes to our lives:

  • The things we “give up” are typically really specific – i.e., soda pop, Facebook or frozen yogurt (yes, these are all things I have given up over the years)
  • The 40+ day time frame is perfect for successful behavior change: It’s not so long that it drags out, but it is long enough to form new habits and routines
  • It comes at a great time of year when there isn’t much else going on – not too many distractions

What are you giving up this year?

Sexuality Through the Lifespan

Calling all local (Northern Colorado and Denver Metro) readers! On Thursday February 25th I will be participating in a FREE event aimed at helping women learn about sexuality throughout the lifespan.

A conversation about sex that goes beyond 50 Shades of Grey and bikini-ready bodies.

The event will be held at the Erie Community Center at 6pm.  Dr. Gloria Oberbeck will be our keynote speaker.  Bring your mom, sister and friends!

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Beans for Breakfast: Stay Energized All Day

This post is part of the series, Food and Mood.  Today’s guest is Kelly Behling.  Welcome, Kelly!

Last week I officially graduated to my second trimester of pregnancy!  After several months of barely being able to tolerate the sight of most foods (except for, Wendy’s, fried chicken, and the occasional smoothie), I celebrated feeling normal again by making one of my very favorite breakfasts of beans and rice.

Beans and rice for breakfast?  While this is not a particularly novel approach to breakfast in many parts of the world, it’s not how most of us here start our day.  Several years ago when I first tried the recipe, I was a bit skeptical (and my husband was downright incredulous), but now we look forward to them as an actual treat!  The greens and green onions give the bowl a little zing and the beans, rice, and avocado keep you energized and satisfied throughout the morning.  And because I feel so awesome after breakfast, I find that I make healthier food choices throughout the day.

The best part is that the recipe is so simple, you can do numerous variations on the main theme based on whatever you have in your fridge and pantry!

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Recipe:
Canned beans (try pink, pinto, garbanzo, or black)
Cooked brown or wild rice
Chopped fresh greens (our favorite is arugula, but you could also try Napa cabbage, romaine, or butter lettuce)
Chopped green onions
Smashed avocado with salt, pepper, and lime

Other garnishes:
Cilantro
Grape tomatoes
Jalapeño

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About the author:
Kelly is an engineer who lives with her husband and her cat, Meatball, in Arvada, CO.  She is always seeking the simplest, fastest way to make a healthy, home-cooked meal so she can spend her free time crafting, reading, and preparing for the little one coming in May 2016!