Tag: erie counselor

How Many Emotions Do You Have in a Day?

I was recently contacted by this cool group – People With Emotions – check it out:

Screen shot 2014-09-24 at 10.21.21 AMHere’s what they are about:

The People with Emotions Movement is about breaking the taboo of feelings. It’s about getting people to realize that it’s normal to feel. Actually, there is a lot more to emotions than we realize.

Sounds like something that a psychologist like me would be interested in, right? Well, I am, and I think there campaign is pretty cool.  They encourage people of all walks of life to first feel, then share, their emotions. Take a look:

Screen shot 2014-09-24 at 10.25.30 AMScreen shot 2014-09-24 at 10.26.41 AMScreen shot 2014-09-24 at 10.28.21 AM

And…guess who else got to participate in the campaign?

Screen shot 2014-09-24 at 10.29.56 AM

Dr. Stephanie Named a Top Mommy Blog

Just like most people, I wear several hats: psychologist, blogger and mom.  While I don’t typically consider this blog a “mommy blog,” as I try to write about lots of different issues – I am a mom and I do have a blog…so by default I suppose I am, in fact, a mommy blogger.  Semantics aside, I am thrilled to announce that Dr. Stephanie has been named a Top Mommy Blog! Yippee!

So what can you do about it? You can vote for Dr. Stephanie to keep me atop the list of blogs!

Check it out here:

Top Mommy Blogs

Ipads in the Classroom: Good for Mental Health?

I was recently interviewed for a story about using ipads in the classroom.  It’s a hot topic around these parts (Northern Colorado) as the school districts are – for the first time ever! – distributing ipads to all students.  I think most people agree that this is pretty cool, and a sign that our schools are keeping up with the time.  Sure, there will some glitches to work out and some naughtiness that will most definitely occur, but most folks agree that schools need to embrace technology.

But, here’s the angle I didn’t think about until the reporter asked me: “Does ipad use in the classroom count toward a child’s daily allotment of screen time?”

Hmmm…excellent question.

My first thought was “no” because kids are using ipads, presumably, as a learning tool when they are in school.  But the more I thought about it I wondered if a screen-heavy classroom necessitates a screen-lite home life?  After all, it’s more physical activity and in person interaction that we are aiming for when we set screen limits, right?  It’s a tough question, and one that will likely answer itself as the school year wears on.

Here are some of my thoughts that appeared in the article in the Johnstown Breeze:

But is using an iPad all day healthy for children?

“It can definitely be part of a psychologically healthy classroom,” said Smith, who has more than 10 years of experience in the field. “… It can be a wonderful complement.”

Smith said moderation is the key. She said parents should work closely with teachers to be sure about how the iPads are to be used at home. She also said that parents should put strict limits on entertainment screen time. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than two hours of entertainment screen time a day for children and teens.

“We need to be careful of not having kids on screen, TV, iPad too much,” she said. “Technology in the classroom can be useful when it’s part of the instruction, not a babysitter.”

Talking to Kids About Suicide

Suicide is a topic that no one likes to talk about, but it’s one we need to discuss – and not just when it affects a celebrity we love. I recently wrote a post for the American Psychological Association‘s blog, Your Mind. Your Body.  In it, I offered some tips for talking to your youngest family members about this tough topic.  Here’s a peek:

Don’t Be Afraid to Say It: Even when news of a celebrity’s death by suicide isn’t on the news, it is a part of everyday language. Kids are hearing about it at school, on the radio and online. So be brave and ask clear questions like: “Have you ever thought of suicide?” or “What would you do if you had thoughts of suicide?” It does no good to beat around the bush.

For more tips and strategies for talking to kids about suicide, check out the full post on Your Mind. Your Body.

Even when news of a celebrity’s death by suicide isn’t on the news, it is a part of everyday language. Kids are hearing about it at school, on the radio and online. So be brave and ask clear questions like: “Have you ever thought of suicide?” or “What would you do if you had thoughts of suicide?” It does no good to beat around the bush. – See more at: http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/talking-to-your-children-about-suicide/#sthash.48nKYGB4.dpuf

Don’t be afraid to say it.

Even when news of a celebrity’s death by suicide isn’t on the news, it is a part of everyday language. Kids are hearing about it at school, on the radio and online. So be brave and ask clear questions like: “Have you ever thought of suicide?” or “What would you do if you had thoughts of suicide?” It does no good to beat around the bush.

– See more at: http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/talking-to-your-children-about-suicide/#sthash.48nKYGB4.dpuf

Don’t be afraid to say it.

Even when news of a celebrity’s death by suicide isn’t on the news, it is a part of everyday language. Kids are hearing about it at school, on the radio and online. So be brave and ask clear questions like: “Have you ever thought of suicide?” or “What would you do if you had thoughts of suicide?” It does no good to beat around the bush.

– See more at: http://www.yourmindyourbody.org/talking-to-your-children-about-suicide/#sthash.48nKYGB4.dpuf

Two School Lunches in Seven Minutes

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It’s Back to School Day Around here, and I have to admit that I am feeling pretty down about it. I love summer: the pool, the lazy mornings, the lack of homework the evening bike rides.  But here we are, back to backpacks, spelling tests and the dreaded question about what to do for lunch.

Here’s my rule: Once my kids hit kindergarten I no longer pack their lunches. My time is precious, I don’t like doing it and they don’t eat what I pack half the time anyway.  So my kids are left with two choices:

1. Buy lunch at school

2. Pack your own lunch

On the first day of school my girls decided to pack their own lunch.  After checking out some menu options on Produce for Kids they chose the Easy Lunch Stackers.  My contribution? I provided all the ingredients and some brand new bento boxes (so cute!) – then I sat down and watched (and timed) them as they got to work.  Here’s how it went:

DSC05071

Brand new bento boxes!

All the ingredients for a healthy (and yummy!) lunch!

All the ingredients for a healthy (and yummy!) lunch!

Assembly...

Assembly…

Completed lunch #1

Completed lunch #1

Completed lunch #2

Completed lunch #2

All done! And in less than 7 minutes! I think they could do it even faster with a little practice.  Next up? Taco Bento Box!

Check out more recipes at Produce for Kids – and take the Pledge at #poweryourlunchbox

This just in!!! Reviews of Easy Lunch Stackers:

Eater #1: “They were good. They tasted healthy and yummy.”

Eater #2: “It was delicious!”

Coping With the Death of a Pet

Pet owners know that losing a dog, cat, parakeet or pig can be devastating.  The process of grieving a pet can be similar to the process one goes through after losing a human friend or companion. There are a few differences, of course, but pet lovers know that the pain is very real.  I was recently interviewed about pet loss and how the reactions of those around us can affect the situation in a really powerful way.

Comforting, supportive and understanding friends can make the process easier to bear.

Dismissive words and lack of compassion from family and friends can quickly turn the grief into anger and hurt.  I spoke to Dogster.com about how to cope with friends who don’t seem to understand grief after the loss of a pet (hint: knowing how to talk to a grieving friend is always tough, no matter what – or who – the grief is about).

Take a look:

Dogster.com August 2014

Dogster.com August 2014

Want more info on grieving the loss of a pet? Check out this article I wrote over at APA.

Back To School Lunches

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My friends over at Produce for Kids have a really cool thing going as we head back to school.  Here’s the scoop:

The new Power Your Lunchbox Pledge by Produce for Kids®, launching August 11 and running through September 15, encourages parents to pack healthier lunchboxes for their kids this back-to-school season. Visitors to poweryourlunchbox.com can pledge to pack healthier lunchboxes; get RD-approved, kid-friendly lunchbox ideas and tips; and download coupons from companies supporting the program.
 
For every pledge that families or individuals take, participating produce companies will make a 25 cent donation to DonorsChoose.org to fund health and wellness classroom projects around the country. Additionally, Define Bottle will be providing DonorsChoose.org with 20 percent of each sale during the pledge time frame.

Check out some of these yummy-looking lunch ideas:

Need more lunch ideas? Check out Produce for Kids. Want to take the pledge for healthier lunches? Click here.

Happy eating!

Helping Kids Develop a Positive Body Image

Produce for Kids

I recently wrote an article for Produce for Kids about how to help kids feel good about their bodies.  This topic seems particularly important as we are in the middle of swimsuit season, with back-to-school only a few weeks away in many parts of the country.  These times of the year are ripe for comparing our looks and physical abilities to others.

It’s hard to believe, but kids as young as 4 and 5 can struggle with body image.  And it’s not something that affects only girls! We are discovering that boys often struggle with body image too, and that they are just as vulnerable to negative messages (from the media, peers and caregivers) as girls.

The great thing is that parents, caregivers and teachers can have a huge positive impact on how kids feel about their bodies.  Here’s one of the tips I offer in the article:

Respect our own bodies. Kids notice everything we do – and don’t do. Take care to treat your own body with respect by eating healthy foods, getting plenty of exercise and adequate sleep. By demonstrating respect for our own bodies, our kids will be more likely to do the same.

For more tips for helping kids learn to love their bodies for what they can do – and not tear them don’t for what they can’t – check out the full article over at Produce for Kids.

Talking to Troubled Kids

Talking to kids and teenagers when you suspect something is wrong at home, something’s different in their mood or when you think they might be in some kind of trouble with friends can be scary.  It’s hard to know what (and what not) to say.  Many of us are afraid to get involved for fear of making the situation worse, or putting ourselves in a vulnerable position as adults.

I (and a few other psychologists) recently helped the American Psychological Association assemble a tip sheet for talking with kids when you suspect they need help.  These tips are useful for teachers, neighbors, family members, friends – just about anyone who has contact with kids or teens.  Here’s my favorite tip from the list:

Be genuine. 

Try to avoid speaking from a script. Teens can tell when you’re not being genuine. If you are open, authentic and relaxed, it will help them to be the same.

To see more tips, check them out here at APA’s Help Center.

Managing Home Buying Stress

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I have been composing this post about real estate stress for the past 2 1/2 months.  That’s also the length of time it has taken me to find a new house, put in an offer, sell my old house and move all my (and my family’s!) junk the couple miles across town to our new digs.  Funny it took me just a sentence to describe what has been a grueling, extremely stressful and altogether emotionally taxing period in life.

As I was going through all the ups and downs, I kept trying to use the stress management tips I offer in this blog and in my office (take deep breaths, long walks and carve out time for yourself!).  Guess what? None of them worked.  All I could think about was: “What if this all falls apart?”  “What if the buyers (or sellers) change their minds?”  “What is the house burns down?”  “What if I lose my mind before this is all over?”

Clearly new stress management tips were in order.  Here’s what I came up with:

Find an awesome realtor.  I was lucky enough to have a family friend who’s a realtor.  I had worked with him before and knew he had the patience to put up with my seriously poor stress management skills.  Working with a professional who was calm and trustworthy gave me confidence, knowing that my interests were being represented in the best way possible. Phew. One less thing to worry about!

Exercise. Like nobody’s business.  One of the only things I found even remotely stress-relieving during the past couple of months was really intense exercise.  So intense that I couldn’t talk or think about anything other than making it to the end of the workout.  This might not be a good long-term stress management strategy, but it gave me moments of stress relief that were well worth the sore muscles!

Talk to people who don’t care.   It didn’t matter whether I was with my mom, my husband, my kids’ teachers or my neighbors: I found myself talking about real estate ALL THE TIME!  How annoying is that?  I was able to catch a moment of relief when talking to people who didn’t care about (or wouldn’t put up with) my real estate rantings.  Sometimes it was my office building mates, other times it was the grocery clerk – regardless, it was nice to re-enter reality once in a while and realize not everyone’s life revolved around my home sale. Duh.

Quit watching HGTV.  I am sad to say that my tried-and-true stress management strategy of watching House Hunters failed me when I needed it most.  For the past 10+ years I have found solace in the show, but not this time.  I ended up getting angry (and even more stressed) at the happy home buyers who showed not a shred of worry!  There were no tears, sleepless nights or un-provoked rants to be found!  Do you mean this “reality show” isn’t representative of reality after all? Good grief.

Listen to loud music that has nothing to do with home buying.  Similar to exercising like Jillian Michaels, I found that listening to music gave me some moments of peace.  But this called for a different type of music: nothing “soothing” or sappy would do.  Instead I turned to songs that had absolutely nothing to do with the process on my mind.  I listened to songs like this.  After all, there’s not much that could be further from my real  life, than pop stars trolling South Florida clubs for some…ahem…companionship.

Want more ideas for managing stress? Check some out here.