Tag: erie counselor

Book Review: The Perfect Score Project

Screen shot 2014-03-07 at 10.14.13 AMI was recently asked to review The Perfect Score Project by Debbie Stier.  It’s the true story about a mom who takes the SAT 7 times in one year as a way to help prep her son to take the test himself.  I thought the book would be a light-hearted, funny take on the craziness that surrounds standardized testing and college applications.  There were moments of that, but more than anything it is a chronicle of Ms. Stier’s study strategies, test-taking experiences and scores.

When I was reading the book, all sorts of memories surfaced.  Memories that I didn’t think I even had anymore.  Who knew that knowledge of my SAT score was still lodged somewhere in the recesses of my mind?  Even more amazing were the memories of the SAT prep course I took in the “big city” over 2 decades ago.  It was a pretty amazing journey down memory lane.

Once I got past my own (not so great) memories, I began to look forward, to the SAT prep that awaits my family in the coming years with my own 3 kids.  When that time comes I will surely be reaching for The Perfect Score Project to help guide me through the maze of tutors, study guides and courses.

To learn more about the book or to order a copy check out the site here.

National Day of Un-Plugging

Have you heard that the National Day of Un-Plugging starts tonight at sundown and lasts through tomorrow evening? Reboot who, according to their site, has a number of active programs that provide DIY tools for individuals and communities to explore Jewish identity, started the event several years ago – and I LOVE IT!

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While I am a big fan of social media (hello, I’m contributing to it right now) I also yearn for the days when our lives were less complicated, less harried and not Facebook-infused.  I have chronicled screen-free periods in my life before, so I’m not going to do that today.  But what I will do is leave you with a list of things you can do while you are abstaining from technology over the next day or so:

  • bake a cake
  • take a walk
  • read a book
  • draw a picture
  • play a board game
  • do a puzzle
  • talk to a neighbor
  • re-organize your kitchen
  • plan your summer garden
  • read a magazine
  • make a cup of tea
  • re-arrange your living room
  • talk to your kids
  • hold hands with your partner
  • do nothing at all

Most of all – enjoy engaging with those around you!

 

Anger and Your (Mental and Physical) Health

angry picture

Did you see this recent article in CNN’s The Chart about angry outburts? The author of the study (Dr. Murray A. Mittleman, Harvard) found that people who had angry outbursts were at greater risk for “cardiovascular events” for two hours after the anger episode than those who were calm.

It seems that we are learning more about more about how psychological health affects physical health.  For example, we know that stress can affect every system of the body.  We also know that depression can take it’s toll on our cardiovascular system, and other areas of the body as well.  Now it looks like we can add anger to the list of psychological issues that affect our bodies as well.

This shouldn’t come as too big a shock, of course, because our heads are attached to our bodies – it’s all just one big system!

But how can we manage our anger?  Even those of us who don’t consider ourselves “angry people” can struggle with our tempers from time to time.  Whether we get mad at our kids, our neighbors or the other drivers on the road – anger can take its toll in lots of ways.  Here are some tips to manage:

Get it out.  Some people like to talk about it, others like to write about it or sing songs about it.  Some way or another the anger needs to come out in safe, controlled ways.  Try a few strategies and find one that works for you – just know that bottling it up isn’t usually a good option.

Do something for stress relief, even if you think you don’t need it.  We all feel stress from time to time – what’s important is that we have a few strategies for dealing with it.  We need to engage in those activities regularly – at least a couple times per week – even if we think we’re too busy or don’t need it.  When stress builds, anger isn’t far behind.

Consider changing something.  If you find yourself becoming angry at the same things over and over (cars on the highway, a rude neighbor) consider changing your routine.  Take a different route to work.  Avoid your neighbor at the mailbox.  Sometimes even slight changes in routine or behavior can make a big difference.

For more ideas about managing anger and stress, check out the American Psychological Association’s Help Center.

 

Why Lent Is Good For You

Goodbye (for now) tasty treats!

Goodbye (for now) tasty treats!

Even if you don’t know what Lent is or how it relates to Christianity, Jesus or Easter – most folks know that some people “give things up” for the duration of the Lenten season (which is 40 days, by the way – not including Sundays).  I’m not an expert on theology or religion, but as an expert in mental health I will say that Lent is good for us.  Whether you are religious or not, Lent is the perfect time to take a look at our lives and make some adjustments.

Here’s the deal: Most of us think about how we want to live healthier, more frugally, more whatever around the 1st of the year.  We turn these vague notions about healthier living into New Year’s resolutions – even though we know they probably won’t stick.  Do you even remember yours?  New Year’s resolutions don’t typically work because:

  • They are often too vague and general – i.e., “eat healthier” or “save more”
  • There is no specific time frame – the entirety of 2014 is just too broad
  • They are made on the heels of what is often the most indulgent time of the year – “You mean I can’t eat dessert after breakfast, lunch and dinner?” or “I really have to go back to work?” – The drastic change is just too much

But Lent gives us the perfect situation in which to make changes to our lives:

  • The things we “give up” are typically really specific – i.e., soda pop, Facebook or frozen yogurt (yes, these are all things I have given up over the years)
  • The 40+ day time frame is perfect for successful behavior change: It’s not so long that it drags out, but it is long enough to form new habits and routines
  • It comes at a great time of year when there isn’t much else going on – not too many distractions

What are you giving up this year?

 

 

 

5 Questions with Ilyana Romanovsky

choosing therapy

Last week I posted a review of Ilyana Romanovsky’s book Choosing Therapy.  Today Ms. Romanovsky is here answering 5 questions. Welcome!

Dr. S: You obviously spent a lot of time researching this book as it provides the most thorough description of seeking and participating in therapy that I have ever read. Was there a certain instance or situation that led to you writing this book?

I.R.: The book actually began with patients scheduling appointments, coming in and telling their stories.  Many had no idea about the process of therapy or what to expect from a therapist.  Many also had negative experiences with therapy, having devoted a lot of time and money to no tangible results.  Naturally, some stories were probably among the most emotionally grueling experiences I had heard, with people investing a fortune into psychotherapy and coming out of the experience having gained very little, feeling demoralized and believing that they were beyond help.  It was humbling and horrifying to realize that the stories some patients recounted left them questioning the efficacy behind psychotherapy.  Some even walked away sure of their own personal failures at being unable to achieve results they wanted.

So why did I set out to write Choosing Therapy? In part, because after one particular intake, my patient suggested that someone should write a book to educate the consumer about the process of psychotherapy, so that everyone is in a position to make an informed decision about therapy and the type of treatment that they are seeking.  But the other reason I wanted to write the book is because I know what it is like, as a consumer, to want to dip my toe into something new without understanding the process, and feeling the need for a book, a class or advice that could guide me through the maze of a new venture.

Dr. S: What got you interested in the mental health profession in the first place?

I.R.: The road to a mental health career was a lengthy one for me.  Originally, I had started out as a biologist at the University of Chicago, aspiring to become an M.D.  As I spent months and years in hospitals and labs conducting clinical research and interacting with patients, I realized that what I wanted to do most was help people figure out how they could manage better the parts of their lives that were not working well, and move them towards a more satisfying place.  On a more selfish note, I also enjoy working for myself, and knew early on that I wanted autonomy and ability to see clinical treatment through from beginning to end in an outpatient, private practice setting.

Dr. S: There is a lot of information in your book, if there is one thing – the most important tip – you would like your readers to take away from it, what would that be?

I.R.: One thing? No way. I would recommend the reader approach the process of psychotherapy the same way one would approach looking for a job.  It is a personal journey that requires research, interviews and a well thought out treatment plan with your therapist as to how you will accomplish your objectives.  Let me put it this way, plopping on the couch and hoping that the first therapist you meet will facilitate the process of treatment in such a manner that you can relate to, is almost unrealistic.  Psychotherapy in my mind is the most inner-personal journey one can take with another, and requires a meticulous, well-informed approach.
Dr. S: I often write about stress and creative ways to manage it. We all know about yoga, taking walks, etc…but what are some of the more creative ways you manage your stress?

I.R.: Amazingly, through writing.  There are only a few things that I enjoy more than writing.  At times, I need it the same way I need food for energy.  It can even be a preventative for managing my own sadness or stressors with life.  Interestingly enough, I began writing Choosing Therapy after a difficult life transition, and can say without a doubt that writing helped me stay energized, be creative and play around with ideas in my head that I then got to share with others.  Ideas are not always flowing and that can be frustrating, which is why I also enjoy hiking, mountain biking and running.  Some form of physical exercise is important to me as a tension release when by world of ideas is on pause.

Dr. S: What are you working on now? Any new books in the works?

I.R.: I am tossing a few things over in my head and will probably write again fairly soon.   When I juggle the next project in my  mind, I have to push forward and rewind a number of times before I have a good story or an idea.  I figure out what I need to know research wise, and gear up for the next adventure.  I will start writing when I have a great book cover design or a catchy first line.  In the meantime, I am busy working through the licensure process and delineating my interests to obtain a research PhD in the field.

To learn more about Choosing Therapy, check it out here.

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Girl Power, Continued

Photo by Keds

Photo by Keds

Looks like Keds and Taylor Swift are on the Girl Power bandwagon along with Covergirl. I love Taylor (and Keds are pretty cute, too) and even though I’m not sure that dying one’s hair a new color counts as “brave” I still like the message. Take a look:

Everyone’s mental health, self esteem and confidence improves when we encourage each other to aim high and be who we truly are.

Missed my last post about girl power? Check it out here.

#girlpower

Helping Your Teen Manage Stress

Stress? Who me?

Stress? Who me?

The American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America survey was released yesterday.  The results indicate that Americans are pretty stressed overall.  We worry about work and money in particular, and struggle to manage it with healthy strategies.  Instead we reach for cookies, cigarettes, video games and participate in other sedentary activities – even though many of us know more active, healthy strategies are better for us and often more effective.

That’s pretty bad news.

But it gets worse.

The survey also found that American teenagers are experiencing stress at levels they feel is unhealthy.  In fact, their stress levels rival those of adults.  Yesterday I wrote a post about why we need to worry about it.

Today I’m focusing on what we can do to help teens manage their stress more effectively. Here it is:

Let them watch us manage stress in healthy, effective ways ourselves.

  • That means, instead of guzzling beer and M and M’s in front of the TV after a tough day, perhaps we should take a walk or dance around the kitchen
  • That means, instead of logging into Facebook and ranting about our boss, perhaps we should play a game with our teen or get a manicure
  • That means, instead of zoning out and playing Minecraft, perhaps we should read a book or phone a friend

Kids learn from watching us. It’s a big responsibility for parents to be constant role models.  But it’s also a big relief because it means we can have a positive, lasting impact on our kids’ health.

For more information about talking to teens about stress check out the American Psychological Association’s tips here.

For more information about whether your child could benefit from seeing a psychologist, check out my article here.

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How to Help a Depressed Friend

So many of us have been there: watching a family member or friend spiral into a pit of depression, addiction or anxiety.  It’s tough to watch, and even tougher to know how to help.  It can be tempting to either:

  • ignore them
  • tell them what to do and get mad when they don’t do it
  • talk to our other friends and family members about them

It’s clear to see that none of these options are useful, but not so clear to see what is.

Here’s where the American Psychological Association‘s newest YouTube video comes in.  The third in a series of the same weirdly-pill-shaped-characters, I think this spot is my favorite yet.  It tells the story of Clara, a spunky cat-loving-race-walker, who is concerned about her friend Tom.  He has had some trouble at work and has recently taken up drinking and sleepless nights.  Clara wants to help Tom, but isn’t sure how.  She tries a couple of tactics (see above, with the addition of involving his mother) and after some failures, slamming of doors, and screeching cats, she succeeds in helping him find professional assistance (with a Dr. Smith nonetheless!).

It can be hard to make psychology funny (for psychologists anyway). So I especially love the light-hearted and funny tone of this really informative clip.  Check it out:

Making the Healthy Choice the Easy Choice

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I recently wrote an article for the fantastic non-profit organization LiveWell Colorado.  If you are not familiar with them, take a look:

LiveWell Colorado

The article I contributed was about making healthy choices easy.  Here’s a bit of it:

We all know what we should do: eat more fruits and veggies; drink more water and less soda; move our bodies more and look at screens less.  The challenge is putting this knowledge into action and making healthy choices each day.

So, how do we make the healthy choices the easy ones?

Give yourself a chance.  If there is cake in my house I will eat it.  All of it. I know it’s not healthy, but cake and I have a serious love affair going on.  It’s not possible to say no if frosting is anywhere near me, so instead I keep it far away (except on special occasions, of course). We all have foods that call to us, so why keep them nearby?  To give yourself the best chance of making healthy choices, minimize the unhealthy options in your pantry.

For more ideas about making healthy choices easy, check out the rest of the article here.