Tag: erie counselor

Book Review: Please Don’t Label My Child

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I picked up this book, Please Don’t Label My Child, a couple of weeks ago at my local library. It was an impulse buy of sorts. I’m prone to those – particularly at the library.  And boy am I glad I am, because this book was fantastic.  It’s really much better than the title implies (it is not a rant against psychiatric diagnoses, labels, and drugs), but a thoughtful, common-sense, easy-to-read essay on kids and what affects them:

  • Poor eating habits/malnutrition
  • Lack of sleep
  • Lack of exercise
  • Stressors in the home
  • Stressors at school/with friends
  • Lack of exposure to sunlight

The author, Dr. Scott Shannon, posits that it is often these factors that negatively affect kids’ ability to concentrate, manage stress, and cope with worry – and NOT an organic psychiatric condition like ADHD, depression, or bipolar disorder.

While I don’t doubt the existence of psychiatric and emotional disorders in kids, I do think we sometimes overlook more basic explanations for maladaptive behavior.  After all, do any of us really function all that great when we are sleep deprived, grieved over the loss of a marriage, struggling with financial insecurity, or lack (for whatever reason) wholesome, nutritious foods?  Of course we don’t. And neither do children, whose systems are even more fragile than ours.

In our super crazy, complex world I appreciate straightforward answers and solutions.  Dr. Shannon’s book gives us just that. While there are many children and families who need more intensive interventions (therapy, medication) perhaps there are many, too, whose struggles can be aided by the relatively simple solutions offered in this book.

I recommend this book whole-heartedly for health practitioners, as well as parents who are concerned about some aspect of their child’s behavior.  It is a great first step in making some relatively small changes that can make a big difference.

Are Your Kids Going to Bed at the Right Time?

What time is bedtime at your house? A new study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health suggests that bedtime itself isn’t so important – but consistency is.  CNN’s blog, The Chart covers the study in more detail, but basically the authors found that kiddos who went to bed around the same time each night performed better on intellectual tests than their peers whose bedtimes were more variable.

Of course, kids (and adults too!) need lots of sleep.  For a list of how much sleep kids need for optimal health look here.

So how do we set regular, consistent bedtimes for our kids (and ourselves)?

Be realistic.  A 7:00pm bedtime might have worked when your wee-one was 2, but now that they’re 10 it just might not be feasible what with t-ball, piano lessons, and homework to manage.  Pick a time that allows your family to do what you need to do each day AND get the recommended amount of sleep and stick with that.

Make your bedtime routine, routine.  The new study tells us that consistent bedtimes are important.  In order for that to happen, we need a consistent bedtime routine too.  Bath, reading, massage, story time, dance-off – whatever your bedtime routine is make sure you stick to it.

Break the routine once in a while.   What fun is a routine if we don’t break it once in a while? Whether it’s once a quarter or once a month, consider letting loose and staying up late. Not only is it fun, but it will help you appreciate the routine you’ve worked so hard to stick to!

 

Ready Campers? It’s Time to Improve Your Mental Health

Now doesn't that look like fun? Photo Credit

Now doesn’t that look like fun?
Photo Credit

I loved camp as a kid. Girl Scout camp, YMCA day camp, overnight camp: I did it all and loved (almost) every minute of it. I’m sure my fond memories of being a camper contribute to my enthusiasm for camp as an adult and parent. But it’s when I am wearing my psychologist hat that I am most enthusiastic about the benefits of summer camp for kids:

Learning new (and unusual?) things.  Not all kids thrive in the traditional school environment.  In addition, some don’t find a true passion amongst the classes and clubs offered there.  Summer camps can provide an opportunity for kids to explore a new interest.  Some of the most interesting offerings I’ve seen in my area include show choir camp, Mine Craft camp, and Egyptian history camp. Who knew?

Staying in the groove.  The often-times relaxed schedules of summer can be wonderful, but we don’t want our kids’ brains to waste away too much!  A few hours at a camp helps their minds (and bodies) stay active, and oftentimes makes it easier to transition back to school schedules when fall comes around.

Living outside the cliques.  Even if your kiddo doesn’t struggle with “friend issues,” summer camps can be a great opportunity to interact with kids from other schools, backgrounds, interests and abilities.  This can often be a welcome relief from living in the cliques or groups in which they normally reside.

Practicing social skills.  Learning how to meet people, make friends, and interact in unfamiliar settings are critical life skills. Summer camps can be great, low-risk opportunities to work on these things. Pushing ourselves slightly outside of our comfort zones can very often be a wonderful thing!

Want to sign your child up for camp but feel worried about how you’ll cope? Check out the American Psychological Association’s article on managing summer camp worries.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Summer Vacation: Plugged or Un-plugged?

Have you taken your summer vacation yet? If not, you may find yourself pondering this very question: Should I stay plugged in, or go all-in and un-plug the world? I was having this debate conversation just last night.  Are vacations better if they are completely un-plugged? Is it even possible?  Will my vacation be more beneficial if I don’t check my email, voicemail, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and beyond?

What about when I return: Will the re-entry to my “real” life be more difficult if I have a week or two worth of messages waiting for me?

Here’s my take:

Vacations come in all shapes and sizes.  There’s the quick weekend getaway, the family reunion trip, the sightseeing/cultural trip, the boy scout camping trip, the Disney World trip and the long, lazy summer trip.  It might be no big deal to stay plugged in (meaning checking voicemail, email, etc) on short trips like weekend getaways.  In fact, staying plugged in to the “real world” might be the only thing that gets you through kid-focused trips (like to Disney) and can provide excellent excuses for escape on family reunion trips.

Camping trips and long, lazy summer trips are different in my book.  These vacations should most certainly be experienced un-plugged.  These types of trips are meant to be savored and should be a complete change of pace from your normal life. We can’t be expected to truly un-wind, re-group, and relax if we are constantly updating Facebook or responding to customer inquiries.  Sand castles and s’mores are meant to be relished – and who can do that while responding to email?

How do you decide whether or not to un-plug?

Making Summer Simple

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The “lazy days of summer” I referred to in my last post don’t seem to be coming around as quickly as I would have liked.  Instead, I am having some “crazy days of summer” – running around too fast, too far, and missing perfectly good summer days around here!  In thinking about how to slow down and capture those delicious, slow, long days of summertime I have been compiling a list of ideas.  Thoughts about how we can all slow down and enjoy this season:

  • Check email less often.  Maybe just once in the morning and once at night will do?
  • Instead of posting about your comings and goings on Facebook – get offline and actually experience them! Consider implementing media-free days for yourself
  • Go to the library and stock up on books: fiction, non-fiction, coffee table books, magazines.  Having lots of reading (and “looking”) material on hand might encourage you to actually sit down and relax!
  • Make eating easy.  Check out my post on healthy summer eating.  For some simple summertime recipes check out Produce for Kids.
  • Say no.  Showers, parties, open houses, and birthday celebrations can be fun – but they can eat up time like nobody’s business.  Be picky about how your spend your time and practice saying “no thank you” if need be.
  • Keep a list of fun activities handy.  I’ve known several families who keep a list of fun, relatively easy activities nearby so if they are ever at a loss of things to do, they can simply check their list.  Ideas might include: a local hike, a trip to the zoo, a picnic in the park, pizza at the pool (one of my faves), a midnight movie, and so on.
  • Do something new.  It’s so easy to get into ruts and routines so rigid that we never try new things.  Summer, with its zillions of activities, can be a wonderful time to try new things.  Pickleball, anyone?

 

Healthy Eating Over Summer Break

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Holy cow! It must be summer, because time is flying by and I am way behind on my blogging! While I wait for the “lazy” part of summer to arrive (rather than the super-harried, running around, getting used to new schedules summer that I’m in now) – here is an article I wrote for Produce for Kids.  I provide some tips for maintaining healthy eating habits while school’s out.  The folks at Produce for Kids provide some yummy, easy, and fresh recipes for summertime. Enjoy!Screen shot 2013-05-30 at 9.32.32 AM

Mental Health Blog Day Update

Yesterday was APA’s Mental Health Blog Day.  They did a great job of rounding up some great bloggers to dedicate posts to mental health.  Some of the bloggers are health writers, some not – but either way there was some great information shared! Check it out:

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Some of my faves:

How clever are these blog titles? I just love discovering new, creative and entertaining bloggers.  For a full list of Mental Health Blog Day participants click here.

Oh! And you can see my contribution to the party here: Mental Health Isn’t All Sadness and Worry; Doom and Gloom

Mental Health Isn’t All Sadness and Worry; Doom and Gloom

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I'm Blogging for Mental Health.

Today is Mental Health Blog Day over at the American Psychological Association (APA).  APA is rounding up lots of terrific blog posts and articles all about mental health.  This is a great place to learn more about diagnosis, treatment, resources, and what it is like to live with a mental illness.  All of this information is useful and necessary, but I think sometimes we forget that mental health can be fun – and funny – too.

For example, the blog Hyperbole and a Half has recently dealt with the issue of debilitating depression.  Yes, this is a serious topic.  And yes, it is tough to read the author’s description of her extremely low mood and long periods of helplessness and hopelessness.  But, the post is also pretty light-hearted and even funny in some sections.

Mental health and humor are two things that can be tough to combine, but there are places where the combination can be found: the TV show Monk, any of David Sedaris’ books, Chato Stewart’s mental health humor cartoons.

Creating mental health can be a good time – and it doesn’t always entail lying on a couch blaming your mother for your unhappy marriage, or taking a handful of pills everyday.  While therapy and psychiatric medication may be a piece of mental health care for some of us; many of us can find it on our own.  Gardening, baking, collecting gnomes, reading mysteries, brewing beer, playing chess in the park – these can all be ways to create and maintain good mental health.

How do you have fun while working on your mental health?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are We Giving Too Much Advice?

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There is advice everywhere I look. From the psychology and health related blogs I read (“How to Keep Your Kids Safe This Summer!” “10 Steps to Being a More Engaged Mom!”) to the home improvement blogs I enjoy (“How To Rip Out Carpet!” “Painting Your Deck with Ease!”) to the healthy living/fitness blogs I skim (“Cut Out Gluten for a Flatter Stomach!” “Train for a Marathon This Summer!”).  I have to admit I have reached my breaking point when it comes to reading advice.

Who are these advice-givers anyway?  And do they follow their own advice?  Can any of us really be expected to do all these things we’re “supposed” to do?

I know, I know, my blog is full of tips, advice, strategies too.  And believe me, sometimes I read my own words and they sound a bit like blah blah blahhhhhhhh to me as well.

Do you ever feel like you are being bombarded with advice? How do you cope? How do you choose what to tune out?

Advice, tips, coping strategies are all great things. But just like everything else: moderation is key. With that, I will follow my own advice and not offer any today.

 

Chores: Start Them Early And Often

I am a big fan of giving kids chores, and lots of them.  Chores can help kids feel involved, and help parents feel like they are not alone in the care and running of the household.  Chores also give kids a sense of responsibility and accomplishment.  Granted, assigning chores can come with some serious opposition and digging in of heels, but by expecting involvement from a young age, the arguments over chores can be diminished.  Once established, a good family chore routine can make everyone’s life a little easier.

I think many of us parents are guilty of under-estimating what our kids are capable of doing. We assume that they can’t cook, clean up, or put their clothes away just because they don’t do it of their own free will.  Well, of course they don’t! Who doesn’t want to be waited on like royalty?  The problem is, part of becoming a self-sufficient adult (which is the end-goal of childhood) is learning how to do those things for yourself.  So, I say: start chores early and often.

As soon as kids are able to walk and understand a bit of what you say, you can start asking them to put things away.  Of course, it won’t happen right away, but starting in early toddlerhood gets both you and your little one in some good habits.

Lori Gottlieb recently wrote about how she “outsources” chores to her young son.  For ideas on how she does it, check out her article in Working Mother Magazine

Here are some other ideas for tasks little ones can do:

  • Help change laundry from washer to dryer, etc
  • Bring dirty clothes basket to the laundry room
  • Help unload the dishwasher
  • Empty trashcans
  • Make their bed
  • Put away their laundry
  • Set the table
  • Water houseplants
  • Assist in bringing in groceries from the car
  • Get the newspaper and/or mail
  • Put away their own toys
  • Sweep the floor
  • Wipe down the dinner table
  • Feed the family pets
  • Help pack their own lunches