Photo via ashleymadison.com
The Ashley Madison website leak is more than just fun to gossip about. It’s providing all of us an opportunity to talk about some tough – but important – stuff. I recently wrote an article for the American Psychological Association blog, Your Mind. Your Body. in which I outlined a bunch of conversation starters stemming from the Ashley Madison leak.
Don’t be tempted to take the easy way out and simply make fun of Ashley Madison’s clientele. Use the episode to have meaningful conversations with:
- Your partner
- Your kids
- Yourself
Check out the full article here:
Your Mind. Your Body.
Dear Dr. Stephanie,
I’m one of the ‘cheaters’ on AM. I was on the site once in 2007 out of interest and 2014. In 2007 I did not spend much time there. In 2014 my wife and I experienced some problems in our relationship. The word separation came up a few times. I did end up on the site for a few weeks and admittedly thought or fantasized about an affair. I eventually ‘deleted’ the account. My wife and I went on to couples counseling and worked on our relationship. I never had an affair. Never had contact (chat, text,FB, Twitter, phone, public or private) with anyone outside the site.
When this broke I was stunned to find out accounts were never completely deleted. For a day I did not know what to do. I eventually went to my wife and came clean and told her everything.She was not happy but also understood to a degree. We had a deep conversation about it. The good news is that we are working on more issues in our relationship and on good terms. We kiss good night before we go to bed together.
I am glad that I confessed to my wife my indiscretion and that we are able to work through this. However, I live in fear of someone finding my name and address. For the last week I have had the same sick feeling in my stomach. I experience waves of anxiety and depression. After a week I am beginning to feel I am getting back to some kind of normal.
I’ve learned an important lesson but I also have experienced via the internet how terrible people can be. My faith in humanity is diminished when I hear on Twitter that individuals who committed suicide got what they deserve. I really don’t feel safe. All this and I did not have an affair.
In time this will blow over. But until then….? Thanks for the opportunity to express myself.
– Mike
Mike
Thanks so much for your very thoughtful comments. I can understand your feelings of anxiety and sadness – and know you are not the only one feeling that way. But sounds like you and your wife are making the most of the very difficult situation. Thanks again